Based on The Compassionate Cook, by PETA and Ingrid Newkirk
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Grease a 9 x 13-inch baking pan. For the topping, mix the brown sugar and flour. With a pastry knife, a fork, or your fingers, cut in the peanut butter and margarine until crumbly; set aside.
For the cake, combine the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add the soy milk, peanut butter, egg replacer, and margarine. Beat until smooth, about 3 minutes with an electric mixer. Pour into baking pan and sprinkle with the topping.
Bake for 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Notes:I've made this the last few years as my contribution to Christmas morning brunch. It's good. It's heavy and sweet. If you like peanut butter, sugar, and the texture of dense coffee cake, you'll like it. It's all non-vegans eating it when I make it, and there haven't been any problems. A time or two, it has come out too dry, but I haven't figured out what I've done to cause that. I think it was probably just variance between ovens.
2005.12.31: I've increased the amount of soy milk by a quarter of a cup, because I always seem to end up adding more. The batter in the original version was always too thick.
"Good afternoon, madam. How may I help you?"
"Good afternoon. I'd like a FrintArms HandCannon, please."
"A--? Oh, now, that's an awfully big gun for such a lovely lady. I
mean, not everybody thinks ladies should carry guns at all, though I
say they have a right to. But I think... I might... Let's have a look
down here. I might have just the thing for you. Yes, here we are!
Look at that, isn't it neat? Now that is a FrintArms product as well,
but it's what's called a laser -- a light-pistol some people call
them. Very small, as you see; fits easily into a pocket or bag; won't
spoil the line of a jacket; and you won't feel you're lugging half a
tonne of iron around with you. We do a range of matching accessories,
including -- if I may say so -- a rather saucy garter holster. Wish I
got to do the fitting for that! Ha -- just my little joke. And
there's *even*... here we are -- this special presentation pack: gun,
charged battery, charging unit, beautiful glider-hide shoulder holster
with adjustable fitting and contrast stitching, and a discount on your
next battery. Full instructions, of course, and a voucher for free
lessons at your local gun club or range. Or there's the *special*
presentation pack; it has all the other one's got but with *two*
charged batteries and a night-sight, too. Here, feel that -- don't
worry, it's a dummy battery -- isn't it neat? Feel how light it is?
Smooth, see? No bits to stick out and catch on your clothes, *and*
beautifully balanced. And of course the beauty of a laser is, there's
no recoil. Because it's shooting light, you see? Beautiful gun,
beautiful gun; my wife has one. Really. That's not a line, she
really has. Now, I can do you that one -- with a battery and a free
charge -- for ninety-five; or the presentation pack on a special
offer for one-nineteen; or this, the special presentation pack, for
"I'll take the special."
"Sound choice, madam, *sound* choice. Now, do--?"
"And a HandCannon, with the eighty-mill silencer, five GP clips, three
six-five AP/wire-fl'echettes clips, two bipropellant HE clips, and a
Special Projectile Pack if you have one -- the one with the embedding
rounds, not the signalers. I assume the night-sight on this toy is
"Aah... yes, And how does madam wish to pay?"
She slapped her credit card on the counter. "Eventually."
-- Iain M. Banks, "Against a Dark Background"
This page was last modified on 2011 December 20.